Post from Facebook "I Want to Know What Your Liver Thinks"

What My Liver Thinks

My Liver is disappointed that I did not fully explore our college years and

Is furious at my current choice in malt liquor.

She could just spit because I’m making her work so hard in our golden years.

(Can you say mid-life-crisis?)

My Liver thinks I’m ridiculous, redundant and lacks self-control.

Let’s call my Liver Gladys and she is iron deficient and bitchy.

She thinks my right kidney is a dick and our stomach is out to get us.

Gladys would rather be a gallbladder and is resentful towards our diaphragm because she would

Prefer not be touched.

My Liver has delusions of body domination.

She sends bile up my throat just because she can and is extremely vain.

My Liver wants me to go to Sunday Mass and vote republican. 

She prefers the poison to the booze.

Gladys is disgusted by pee.

My Liver knows I can kick her ass and hates me.

What Mike’s Liver Thinks

Mike’s Liver is so fucking pissed off that Mike thinks the herbal remedies he takes, as a peace offering, does any good.

Mike’s Liver, however; does appreciate Mike's sense of humor and Jena Se qua.